As I look back on my many memories, there was never a dull moment. Flashbacks of my life will creep into my mind as if Im remembering some memorable scene in a movie. I can honestly say that i have aquired survival skills have taught me to stay emotionally aware of the lessons learned, not to the terribly painful experiences that produced them. I wish I could say that Im the kind of person that gets back up as quick as I can, after I fall, but the year 2010was hard for me.I just felt like I was totally getting my booty kicked badly.It just seemed like the "Perfect Picture" of life, just kept getting further and further out of my reach.
I had fallen into one of those pits of despair, where I would ponder for days on what was wrong with me and why my life wasn’t normal\ or how it used to be before 2010.
Now, its totally 2011 and I hope that this year brings clearity to what God wants my "Perfect Picture" to be. Why was I so obsessed with making wanting everything so damn perfect and normal? Maybe I was just thinking the way any 20 year old would think at that point; But I have now decided that it;s time to focus to seeking the “happiness” that God has in store for me. Although I may not know exactly what shape or form that *happiness* might come in.
But then,of course several bricks had to fall on my head for me to wake up and smell the coffee. But then again, I still really have no for sure idea what is in store for me. But I put all my trust in the Lord and trust that "His Will" will be done in my life in"His Time" not mine and that all i really have to do is stay faithful,be still and await for Him to guide my footsteps on this journey. I realize now that all I really was doing was trying to paint myself into the wrong picture. <3FmNN
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